Somewhere I Belong
by Lai Jun Chen
Summary: It was just him and his Ark. Him and what determination he could still muster. The Noah wanted his allegiance now and the Order wanted his head. Allen wasn't inclined to give either. -Allen is feeling a bit lost and Tyki helps him. Prequel: Middle Ground.
1. Guilt

This fic is about Allen Walker, again, co-starring Tyki Mikk, of course. This fic takes place right after Allen, Road, and Tyki board the Ark and is the follow-up to The Middle Ground, as I'm sure you've figured out. I hope you enjoy it. The song is _Somewhere I belong_, by Linkin Park

This was written with the much appreciated help of **Prieva** who did an amazing job of helping put all of this together.

I do not own -Man

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**Somewhere I Belong**

**Chapter One: Guilt**

_When this began, I had nothing to say_

_And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me (I was confused)_

_And I let it all out to find- that I'm_

_Not the only person with these things in mind (Inside of me)_

_But all the vacancy the words revealed_

_Is the only real things that I've got left to feel (Nothing to lose)_

_Just stuck, hollow and alone_

_And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own_

Allen Walker's goals, his _determination_, his ideals shone brighter than anyone's.

He had become the embodiment of justice, placing what was _right_ above all else. Which was why, he reflected ruefully, he was in this position. Doing what was _right_, unequivocally _right_, was the only thing that mattered and he had been punished for it; he would, no doubt, be punished for the betrayal of the previous 14th by the Earl and he had already been punished for the corruption of the Order.

In all their false righteousness they had punished him for doing what they should have been doing from the start. The Order had become a veritable black hole of twisted morals and corruption.

However, despite it's over all ugliness, the evil it had become, the Order had possessed a few beautiful, worthwhile things. Quite a few of the people at the Order were still good, still believed and fought as he did (even if no one understood his love for the Akuma). Lavi and Lenalee, Krory, Miranda, so many of the scientists, and even Kanda- they were good people. People that Allen was going to miss. These were the people who had shown him something beyond the Akuma- to see more than the dead. Some of the few decent human beings, creatures worth saving, and he'd left them.

He was the middle ground now, if there could truly be such a thing in this war, and he was fairly certain that only he would see this as a good thing, the right thing. Certainly, it was the correct decision. He never questioned that. But he didn't want to live for _just_ the Akuma anymore: 'your left hand for the Akuma, and the right is for mankind'... what had he _done_?

He'd survived, that's what he'd done. And no one could fault him for that, for not simply accepting _everything_- even his eventual execution. Even being the right course of action, his only option, it still hurt.

And being a 'destroyer who saves,' the white-haired teen should have known, should have _seen_ this coming. Of course, looking _back_, Allen realized that his time with the Order, with a group that couldn't even _understand_ salvation, wasn't meant to be.

_I want to heal, I want to feel, what I thought was never real_

_I want to let go of the pain I've held so long_

_(Erase all the pain till it's gone)_

_I want to heal, I want to feel, like I'm close to something real_

_I want to find something I've wanted all along_

_Somewhere I belong_

But now, as he lounged in the piano room with Road and Tyki, almost _comfortably_, the full weight of his decision finally hit him. There was more than being a 'destroyer who saves,' more than his pact with the Innocence to save the Akuma as well as the humans.

At first, in the moments following the death of the Third Exorcist, everything felt too heavy with emotion. And he honestly couldn't quite comprehend what had happened. He knew _what_ had happened. He knew _why_ it had happened. But it just didn't seem to want to fit together properly, remaining inexplicably disjointed in his mind.

Once the shock of everything that had happened had worn off, the emotions less poignant, Allen Walker found that he really didn't want to think further about what he had done. He wasn't one to procrastinate or dawdle. He didn't avoid what had to be done, or ignore problems. But this was _different_. Allen felt just as lost now as he had when he'd been with the Order. As lost as he felt when Mana had died and he'd been taken in by Cross all those years ago.

More than that, there wasn't much left to think _on_, really- the decision had already been made. And all that this decision left was a gnawing nothingness in his chest that both pained and soothed him. Painful because he had _nothing_ left. Soothing because he had nothing left to _lose_. It was just him and his Ark. Him and what determination he could still muster. The Noah wanted his allegiance now. And the Order wanted his head. And Allen wasn't inclined to give either.

He felt that his world was upside down when, in truth, it was finally straightening itself out.

He may very well have just changed the entire course of the war. He had certainly changed the course of his life. Whether the change to his life was large or small, he wasn't yet sure. He would still destroy the Akuma and attempt to save mankind. That would never change. But everything around his goals had. His view of the Dark Religious Order and (some of) the Noah had changed. His outlook on the world was altered.

Nothing in his world was black and white, as it had been since he met Cross. The Order was not all white and the Noah were not all black. The Order could halt their acts of inhumanity. The Noah could leave the Earl.

At least the parts within himself that were black were not things he'd actually asked for. Ten year old Allen hadn't known what he'd be doing to Mana when he'd unwittingly made him into an Akuma. Sixteen year old Allen hadn't asked to possess the Musician of Noah. Yet he was blamed for the things that were not of his choosing, held accountable for things beyond his control: A sinner for the _accident_ of despair, a heretic for nothing more than his _birth_.

Thus, Allen had become the middle ground. He couldn't have saved the world if he'd stayed with the corrupt, stagnating Dark Religious Order. He couldn't destroy the Earl only to replace him with an organization that was _just_ as bad- if not worse. It was a coin toss, Allen thought: The Order used and tortured the living while the Earl used and tortured the dead. It was hard to say which was the greater evil.

Allen Walker, however, was only a 'destroyer who saves.' His entire _purpose_, his _plans_, his moral _code_ could be summed up in that one phrase. But the Order never seemed to catch that- thus his sham of a trial. And considering who was in control of said trial, Allen imagined that as soon as he had defected the Central Command had _officially_ deemed him a heretic and assumed he would now join the Noah.

But the Noah weren't Allen's middle ground, either. He had made a stand against the equally evil sides of this hidden war. For Allen, there would be no _compromises_. No excuses for _torture_ or _murder_, no forced soldiers, no unnecessary sacrifices. The middle ground, notorious for being self-serving, cowardly, and easily swayed would, for once, be selfless, just, and unshakable_,_ just as he was. Allen would see to that, whether he wanted to or not. Allen couldn't help but be devoted to a righteous cause; his past, his self-imposed penance- his very _nature_- would allow nothing less.

And despite all of _this_, Allen felt relief. For the first time in a very long time he didn't place blame for his decisions where it didn't belong, didn't hold onto others' guilt for them. For the first time in nearly a _decade_ Allen Walker didn't blame himself for the wrongs of others.

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Thank you so very much for reading this fic.

Thank you so much to **Prieva** for being my outstanding beta- this would have taken way long and been far worse without you I'm sure.

Please review and tell me what you think of this so far. I'll have the next chapter up as soon as humanly possible.


	2. Holy Land

Tyki's pov on Allen's defection from the Order, and his obsession.

I own nothing.

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**Chapter Two: Holy Land**

_I was confused_

_Looking everywhere only to find- that it's_

_Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind_

_(So what am I?)_

_Nothing to lose_

_Nothing to gain, hollow and alone_

_And the fault is my own_

Tyki Mikk couldn't believe the stupidity of the Church and it's Dark Religious Order. Then again… the Church had waged several wars (The Crusades) for nothing more than land. They'd called them 'holy' wars and the prize was 'sacred' ground, Jerusalem. But didn't their god create the _whole_ of the Earth, making all land, _technically_, 'holy?' and didn't their god preach 'do unto others as you would do unto yourself,' making the very idea of a war _sacrilegious_?

But he was digressing. Basically, the point was that if he bothered to reflect on the history of the Church, he could in fact believe their stupidity. But not their arrogance.

He couldn't comprehend how the Church- the Dark Religious Order- could be so arrogant, so much so that they believed- truly _believed_- that their every action was right. And it was this arrogance, their belief that all they did was _just_, was what would truly lose this war for them. After all, it was this unfounded belief in their own right actions that lost them Allen Walker- their greatest and, perhaps, their _only_ chance at victory.

_I want to feel_

_Like I'm close to something real_

_I want to find something I've wanted all along_

And quite honestly, Tyki was _thrilled_. He was absolutely elated that the boy had been betrayed, at least by his superiors. He knew the cursed Exorcist would never join the Earl (though his previous '_employers_,' who should have know him better, _hadn't_), but he was thrilled, nonetheless.

He'd wanted the white haired teen for _months_. Tyki had thought the smiling, conniving boy attractive the first time they met, on that train, when he'd been playing at being a vagabond. The fearless Allen he met in China was even more interesting and alluring. Meeting him a third time as the ark crumbled, looking so mature and confident, had cinched it. Allen had been cute before, but now, he suddenly looked older, and somewhere between beautiful and handsome. His new hair, new Innocence, new uniform, had all seemed to make him look beyond his years and rather… _dashing_. And at that point he knew that his his desire for the ever changing, ever evolving Allen Walker would continue unabated.

Unfortunately, Road had known this as well. She looked young, but she was even older than he, she was observant, and she was even more conniving than Cross Marian. No doubt, she could see in his eyes the same desire for Allen Walker that she had. After all, she had met the white-haired boy first and, thus, had wanted him longer than he could have. And all of this was the main reason she'd kissed the boy on the ark, softly declaring "there's none for you, Tyki." Never before had he hated his niece so much. Surely, Allen's looks alone could start a war (at the very least, between siblings).

But none of that mattered so much now. Allen wasn't with the Order anymore. He was lounging in his ark with two Noah, with him and Road. He didn't have to hold back his affections the way that Road never did. And he didn't have to keep away from Allen for fear of the Earl. In fact it might be better to keep his distance from the Earl for fear of _losing_ Allen- or…or losing _to_ Allen Walker…? Well, either outcome seemed pretty bad to Tyki.

It wasn't as if the outcome of the war really _mattered_ to Tyki anyhow. He was white _and_ black. The Millennium Earl was _black_ and Allen Walker was _white_. Whichever side won (he didn't even count the Order as a contender anymore) Tyki Mikk would simply adapt. And if one _really_ wanted to simplify matters, all either of the two 'men' were doing was trying to shape the world in their image- as any born leader did. And regardless of his dislike for humanity, a world shaped like the ethereal boy sounded better than any other.

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I hope you liked this chapter. Presonally, I am not thrilled with it. It feeles like a filler chapter or something. Anyhow, please review if you did, or even if you didn't like it.

I'm sorry it took so long to update. My new job has crazy long hours and I'm exhausted. Thank you to those who reviewed chapter one and those who added it to their favorites/alert lists. To those of you who are expecting independant fics from me or sequels to my other fics, I swear I'm still working on them and some of them should be posted by this weekend. Thank you for your patience.


	3. Outdated Teachings

Allen's point of view regarding his comrades and Tyki Mikk, amongst other things.

I own nothing.

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**Chapter Three: Outdated Teachings**

_And I've got nothing to say_

_I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face_

_(I was confused)_

He'd been surprised and confused when they'd begun to show up at his… door. Especially since Kanda had been the first. (And Kanda being _Kanda_, the moment that Allen had opened said door, he'd simply brushed passed him and gruffly demanded to know where his room was. '_Bemused'_ didn't quite cover what he'd felt at that moment). Before he knew it all of his friends from the Order resided with him in the White Ark. In the beginning he'd thought to send them back- to where they belonged, he had told them.

That is until he was confronted with Lenalee's 'iron fist of love' and quite forcefully informed that they were exactly where they _needed_ to be, _exactly_ where they belonged.

Allen had been so astonished that he might have fallen flat on his face had he not been surrounded by those who most strongly stood by Lenalee's opinion on the matter. He decided to let things be. After all, if it was pointless to argue with the Chinese Exorcist, then Mugen and its owner were worse still. Everything was turning out so… oddly.

_Looking everywhere only to find- That it's_

_Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind_

_(So what am I?)_

_What do I have but negativity?_

'_Cause I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me_

_Nothing_ was turning out as he'd imagined in his own mind. And perhaps that was for the best. Being that he was _Allen Walker_ one could understand that he'd been nearly consumed by negativity (even if it never showed) thinking about his betrayal and the losses he'd assumed he would suffer.

But even before his Order comrades had joined him, those negative thoughts had begun to lessen. The ex-Exorcist was amazed by the source of the new comfort and support: Noah. Not all of the Noah, of course, but to Allen, the Noah of Dreams and that of Pleasure were, on their own, more than enough of _anything_ from _that_ family. He was even more shocked to learn that it was actually Tyki Mikk he mostly took solace in, whose presence he took the most _pleasure_ in.

Tyki was generally there for him the way Lenalee and Lavi always had been. Tyki reprimanded him when he took too many risks and/or injuries in battle. Tyki helped treat those injuries. Tyki would sit with him until he was sure he was safely healed enough from said injuries. Tyki would wait patiently (usually) for him to wake, always nearby. Tyki would train with him when he wanted and talk with him when he needed too. Tyki, Tyki, Tyki, Tyki, _Tyki_… He was simply always _there_.

And before Allen realized it, the feelings that he knew the Noah of Pleasure had for him were there, in his own heart as well.

Despite whatever belief the white haired boy held concerning a higher power, he'd never truly believed in the Bible- not the way the Church did, trust- _believing_- the whole thing to be fact. Even disregarding the fact that it had been written by the hands of men, not God, the fact that many of its teachings had first been passed on by word of mouth, the fact that it was finally written down over a thousand years ago, rewritten, amended, translated, and retranslated- goodness only knew how many times- the Church still regarded it as fact, as a true history of their religion. However, after having travelled to so many places with both Mana and Cross, having seen so many different cultures, Allen had come to notice that religious texts seemed to be the only documents where such ludicrous events were ever taken as truth, as reliable historical accounts.

Allen had always thought that some of the Biblical stories to be lovely, especially since they taught a certain amount about morality and mankind rising above his shortcomings, now and again. The rest he was sure was complete _twaddle-speak_. Most likely various pieces of the Bible were contrived to make sure that those in power remained in power. Other additions were probably only to help ensure that the number of the Church's adherents increased, if only by way of procreation. Other's still he was positive must simply be outdated in use now, as he could think of no actual moral, soul-saving purpose for them in this day and age, as mankind quickly approached the twentieth century.

_(Nothing to Lose)_

_Nothing to gain, hollow and alone_

_And the fault is my own, the fault is my own_

The point was that Allen didn't really believe in the Bible any more than he did Greek Mythology, thus he did not follow many of the Church's teachings. (Not to mention the fact that he'd already fled the side of the Church). Consequently, he didn't mind that he was falling for a male.

You can't help who you love, even less who you fall _in _love with.

That it didn't bother his conscience didn't make it any less _inconvenient_. Even if they were no longer _technically_ on opposite sides of the war, they were still _in_ a war. A war with no foreseeable end or definite conclusion. And everyone was looking to him to lead them to an end- to whatever outcome that would be.

Before he'd become their leader, before he'd joined the Order he had nearly everything to gain and almost nothing to lose. When he'd joined the Order he'd gained friends, and a _sense _of purpose, and had lost his freedom. When he'd left the Order and the Church he was back to having nothing and almost nothing left to lose. But it was only with his departure of the Order that he realized he'd lost a great many unseen enemies, shed unseen shackles and regained his freedom- freewill he hadn't even known he'd relinquished.

Now it was quite different. Now all that there was really left to gain was victory- a promise of freedom and a new life for him and his loved ones. He had a great many friends and a new family to lose. He had the love for his own life, for life in general, to lose. He didn't want to add a lover to the list of potential losses. He imagined that that kind of loss would hurt more than any other, even more so than losing Mana, and he'd only survived that because of an auspicious sort of twist of fate. Though Allen Walker was good at miracles, it was the sort of miracle he dare not rely on ever again.

No, for now he would just let the situation with Tyki be… If such a thing was even possible.

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I am so sorry that the update took so very long. I've had terrible writers block for weeks- months, maybe- and I just broke my new laptop, again. Anyhow, with concerted effort this chapter just sort of seemed to appear as I was on a terrible flight across the whole bloody country. It isn't beta-ed and I still don't know where I'm going with this, so please forgive any weirdness and the digressing.

Regardless, please review and tell me what you think- good or bad. I really appreciate all reviews and try to respond to all of them.

And anyone still waiting on other promised fics/sequels, yes, I'm still working on them as best as I can.

And thank you so very much to everyone who has reviewed or added it to fave/alert lists!

~Yes, i did steal "_twaddle-speak_" from Jack Sparrow on Pirates of the Carribean. Couldn't help it. The phrase was, oddly, stuck in my head today.


	4. The Desciples

This is the revamped version of chapter four. I know, I know, i should be working on chapter five, but I'm still stuck- but partially done at least. So please, continue to be patient with me. I will get the next chapter up the moment it is done.**

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Chapter Four: The Disciples

**~Lavi**

_I will never know myself until I do this on my own  
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed  
I will never be anything till I break away from me  
I will break away, I'll find myself today_

He had thought that with Allen's arrival things might have changed around the Order. He should have known better than to even consider such an impossible dream. It was ridiculous to think that after nearly two millenia of strife, prejudice, and cruelty the Catholic Church would ever change. It was too much to hope that they would ever truly care about humanity and _this_ life, about anything beyond 'salvation' and the _next_ life. Allen Walker cared about _everything_ in a way that the Church couldn't care about _anything_.

Lavi wasn't all that surprised when Allen disappeared. Considering the horrific crimes committed within the Order and not just the Church, the Bookman apprentice could easily guess at would happen in regards to their 'Destroyer of Time.' He and Bookman, as keepers of the hidden history, had already known about the atrocities committed by the Order.

In the beginning it hadn't mattered to him whether they had recorded the war from the Noah's or the Order's side because he had known that this war was like so many others: a war without the truly good or truly evil.

Lavi had been indifferent to life to the point that, looking back, he hardly recognized himself. He had been wounded- cynical, frightened, and lost.

But then Allen Walker had appeared and started changing things. Allen had become a bright light in the dark halls and the even darker history of the Order. Everyone who came in contact with the young Exorcist felt that the death they were drowning in had meaning, they once again felt hope. And the brilliant, star-like quality that Allen possessed never dimmed.

If that had been the only thing special about Allen Walker, Lavi might have let the boy be, kept him amongst the lists of people he simply recorded. But the boy was beyond special, beyond exceptional. It was the fact that the 'light' Allen possessed never did dim, as the red head (and most everyone else) had assumed it would, and that was part of what made him truly exceptional. And after the Ark, Lavi swore he would follow the cursed teen anywhere, Bookman, or not. Allen was one of the only people in the war, in the world worth following. He'd chase Allen through every battlefield if he had to. Because like everyone else, Lavi couldn't help but love him, look up to him, and believe in him.

And besides, the Bookmen weren't supposed to take sides, were they? Lavi couldn't help but grin at this thought as he packed a bag, getting ready to start after the star of their war.

**~Lenalee Lee**

_I want to heal, I want to feel what I thought was never real_

_I want to find something I've wanted all along  
Somewhere I belong_

She hated her Innocence. The Innocence tore families apart the same way that the Akuma did- only in death were the weapons of God and those of the Earl free.

Lenalee had tried to run from the Order, on more than one occasion, when she was little. She had been forced into a situation where she was alone and afraid. She couldn't take it. When her brother had appeared at her side after those years of separation, it seemed as if the sun had finally returned to her maddeningly gloomy world.

Allen Walker had made her world even brighter. If Komui was her sun then Allen was her moon. And this was part of the reason that Lenalee was absolutely _distraught_. Perhaps more angry than distraught. And it was all because of _Allen Walker_. There wasn't anyone that could infuriate her more than the white-haired teen. There wasn't anyone else who could make her feel this kind of pain, either.

He'd left her behind, again. Every time before, when he'd leave her, he would come back. He wouldn't this time, she knew. She'd known that, eventually, the Order was going to either break Allen or make him break away from them. They couldn't understand him. _She_ could barely understand him.

They didn't understand that it wasn't a front, that he really was that _good_, that _selfless_, that he really was a _savior_. They didn't know how hard he took everything. They wished to blame him for so much, but he already blamed himself for their made-up crimes and more. She could only stay with him in the wings so often. She could only stand to see him cry so much; blaming himself for finder's lost, the loss of Innocence, the deaths of scientists, civilians, comrades.

She could only stay in his shadow and watch him tear himself apart and help put him back together so many times. Her brother had been her support, but Allen Walker had become her guide: Allen was her North Star, her only guiding light since she arrived at the Order. And she couldn't bear to see that light fade anymore.

So despite her anger, she understood, and she was glad that he'd left. She too knew how cruel and two-faced the Order was. She couldn't imagine that there was an Exorcist or scientist within the organization who didn't know by now. She'd known for years, and so had Komui, but they'd never tried to leave before... though, perhaps, they should have.

She knew Lavi was going after Allen, Bookman likely reprimanding him the whole way (but following, nonetheless), and she was glad for that too. She didn't want to have to leave much of her world behind. She loved Allen far too much to stay so little pieces of that world would have to be sacrificed, but that was all right. Allen and Komui made up most of her world anyhow, and she already knew her brother would follow her to the ends of the Earth, just as she would follow Allen.

Besides, Allen would need their help as he tried to shoulder the problems of the world, like she knew he would. He was still so stubborn, she reminisced. Even after the incident in the Rewinding Town the white-haired boy still had trouble sharing his burdens. But that was one of the reasons she loved him, one of the reasons that she too would follow him.

She would help him find and repair all the puzzle pieces of the world and they would become the glue to put it all back together, but _better_. She had to; for the world, for _herself_... for him.

She would help Allen build a new world.

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Thank you to those of you who took time to read this new version of ch. 4. Also, the next chapter of The Odyssey of Allen Walker should be out very soon. Thanks to all of you who have reviewed/subscribed!


	5. The First and Last Thoughts?

This Chapter Five, finally. This will be the last _'perspective' _chapter beyond Tyki and Allen. There is likely only one more (maybe two) chapter and will be Tyki/Allen. I've started the next/last chapter(s), but am not positive how to end it all. Regardless, I'll do my best to make it as perfect as can be. Thank you all for your support!

I own nothing, except the basic plot.

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**Chapter Five: First and Last Thoughts**

**~Kanda Yuu**

_I want to heal, I want feel what I thought was never real  
I want to let go of the pain I've felt so long  
(Erase all the pain till it's gone)_

Kanda Yuu had fought for his Innocence because of a strange sense of need to atone and an ingrained, undeniable _need _find 'that person.' But the Innocence had also required that he _sacrifice and murder _Alma and _leave _'that person.' He truly _despised_ his Innocence, though no one was aware of this fact.

He hated Mugen with every fiber of being. He was bound to irrational feelings of repentance and guilt simply because _his- __his_ weapon 'felt' bound to the Order and its cause. And it was the _Order_ that wished that Kanda Yuu possess such unwarranted, unwanted, and unjustified feelings. Kanda understood this, so he simply could not help but hate his Innocence (the very object which forced those feelings upon him), and anything related to it.

Kanda had stayed with the Order, not because he _wanted_ to, but only because there was nowhere else for an Exorcist to go, no other _reason_ for him to live but to follow their orders, for now (because, in the end, all that he was: an Exorcist).

Kanda was not such a masochist that he had dismissed the torture he'd suffered as a child. He had not written it off as a necessity of the war. He had not been so brainwashed that he thought he deserved any of the abuse he'd suffered. They had even had the audacity to wonder why he was so angry, such a '_dark child_,' as if they didn't know that what he'd been subjected to was the very definition of 'cruel and _unusual_.'

~[In part, it was the sunny attitude and unshakable optimism they possessed- both Alma and Allen- despite the cruelty they endured, day in and day out. It made Kanda despise and..._envy _them both. The same organization that tortured him had tortured the other two boys, and yet, he was the only one that _couldn't _forgive them, that _could _hate them, and _resent _them... but not Allen and Alma. If for no other reason than for their sakes alone, Kanda could _never _forgive the Order. (Not that he would ever tell this to the baka Moyashi, ever, ever,_ ever_).]~

Kanda was away from the Order the moment he found out what the Moyashi had done. Everyone was surprised by his choice of companions (they all assumed he was not only unwaveringly loyal to the Order, but also that he hated the Moyashi), but if _anyone_ had valid reason to forsake the Order it was him. He already knew that the Moyashi's defection would be the end of the Dark Order. In their game of chess Allen had been both King and Queen- everyone else simply made up his supporting pieces. In that sense, they were truly _his_ army.

Kanda had known it was only a matter of time before most, if not all of the Exorcist's joined Allen. First, right after himself, Lenalee and Lavi had arrived with Komui and Bookman following right alongside. Miranda, Krory, Timothy, and his obnoxious tutor (Kanda still didn't care what her name was) had not been far behind. Kanda wasn't sure if General Tiedoll and Marie would follow him at some point, but it was certainly a possibility. And he had known without a doubt that most of the main branch science department and the kitchen staff would run after the Moyashi as well… he had so dreaded the day they all showed up on the Moyashi's ark. It seemed that _bloody_ _everyone_ had a soft spot for the boy… to Kanda's own, personal, surprise he did as well.

Allen Walker, that blasted, white-haired brat had done what many of them should have done long ago. And while he wasn't always thrilled by the company, he found that the Ark at least had more space that he could put between him and everyone else (the Moyashi had even provided him with a private training facility… goddamn thoughtful Moyashi). And really, not much had changed. He still ate soba, he still teased and picked on the Moyashi, still beat up on Lavi (and now Lavi's new partner in crime, the equally annoying curly-haired Noah), and he still killed anything loyal to the Earl. It was just that, now, Kanda could finally fight for his _own _goals separate from the organization that had so tortured him as a child. He finally had purpose without the obligation of _'duty'_ that he so resented because of that same organization, an organization he so _loathed_.

Kanda had never been happier so, he _supposed_, it hadn't been such a bad idea chasing after the Moyashi… because now all he had to regret was that this joy and… _peace_ was thanks to that same damn Moyashi. He had only to make sure the brat never learned of his sincere gratitude for this new life. God forbid the Moyashi and the baka Usagi think that he'd come to _enjoy_ their presence. If they did, they'd never leave him _alone_ and his pride would never live it down.

...And yet, these things, at least, Kanda Yuu found that he could truly _live _with.

**~Miranda Lotte**

_I want to heal, I want to feel what I thought was never real_

_I want to find something I've wanted all along  
Somewhere I belong_

Miranda was of two minds regarding the situation. In the beginning she found that she had never before been so angry. By the end she decided that she had never before been so pleased.

Despite how different she was from Lenalee Lee, she found that she was very similar to the younger in regards to how she viewed the world. Just as Lenalee's, Miranda's world was made up of her friends and family those most precious to her. The two women were also alike in that Allen Walker made up a great deal of their worlds.

After all, Allen had been the first person to ever say 'thank you' to her, and it was something she would always be grateful for. She was no longer useless, and there had been others who had spoken those same words to her, but it had never seemed the same as when Allen had said it. She treasured every 'thank you' she was given, but those from Allen most of all.

That was why she had packed and snuck out of the Order with Krory and a few others that wished to find the white-haired boy. So many had left already. And if her world was made of her friends and makeshift family then there wasn't any reason for her to stay at HQ any longer. The Order was just walls, its residents having been what made it her home. And now most of her home had left and the rest of it already planning to leave. The Order was just walls…

The Order had begun to change from home into simple walls even before Allen had defected and fled. Miranda had noticed that the feeling about the monolithic building began to change about the same time that Allen had begun to change. She wasn't an expert on people seeing as there hadn't been very many people in her life, but she recognized those new expressions on Allen's young face. She used to see that face in the mirror all the time. It was an odd twist of feelings, despair struggling against optimism. It was always painful to look at the boy when his expression was like that. It wasn't a face that Allen Walker should ever have to wear- he was too _good_ to have to suffer such emotions.

Allen had saved her. He hadn't saved her just from the Akuma and the Noah girl, but also from her loneliness. For a variety of reasons, Miranda had been shunned by those around her and had been deemed a rather useless creature. She was lonely, without friends or family for most of her life. Then Allen had appeared like a white knight and saved her, given her purpose, a family, a _life_.

Of course, the other Exorcists and the residents of the Order had helped in providing her with family and purpose, but there had just been…_something_ about Allen that made everything more real, more stable and sincere. So, when their savior had begun to drift further away, when his face had begun to look pained and lost more often than not, Miranda knew that there was something very wrong going on.

Suddenly there were secrets and rumors everywhere, all surrounding Allen Walker and the Ark. Suddenly Allen had a minder and was on a short leash for dubious reasons. The halls of the Order were stalked by strangely robed, unknown people and the Third Exorcists took up residence at HQ. Suddenly Miranda knew what it was that was so very wrong and that there was nothing that would make the Order right again.

She hadn't bothered to ask what was going happen to Allen, or the war, or anything else. She had already understood that the Order and the Church were making a monumental mistake.

And that was why the Ark was home now. And it was so much brighter than the Order ever had been. Miranda imagined that part of the reason for this was the scenery, the town within the Ark, but most of it she was sure came from those who inhabited the Ark. Everyone had simply seemed so much happier. There were more smiles, there was more laughter. But the biggest change of all was Allen. Allen looked… _alive_ again. And that made all the difference in the world.

Everything had taken such a strange and unexpected turn, but Miranda found that she didn't much mind. There was just … _something_ about the white-haired boy. It was a something that inspired such love and devotion and allowed Allen to return those feelings without a second thought. Miranda would not have been surprised if that capacity for love was the _only_ reason that everyone was so willing to follow the young Exorcist. After all, that was why she would follow Allen Walker, to the moon and back if he asked it of her…

Across the courtyard Miranda inhabited that afternoon, Allen laughed along with Lavi as they ran from an enraged Kanda and an equally annoyed Tyki Mikk. She just smiled and imagined the _possibility _of the heaven bound trip.

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Thank you so much for reading this chapter. I know I've spent so, so much time between this chapter and the last, but I'm trying. I swear! Anyhow, please review and let me know what you think.

Personally, I really like Kanda's pov, but I'm not thrilled with Miranda (which is too bad, because she's one of my favorite characters). But, I'm also up in the air about the very end of this fic. God damn writers block!

Anyhow, Thanks again. All of you reviewers have been such peaches!


	6. A Place to Belong

This is the last chapter of Somewhere I Belong. There will be no sequel to this. I can't deal with this plot any longer. I don't really know how this chapter turned out, but at least it's bloody well done! I do hope you enjoy this finale.

Thank you everyone who has reviewed and followed this fic and it's predecessor. I very much appreciate all of your support!

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Chapter Six

**Tyki Mikk**

_I want to heal, I want to feel like I'm close to something real_

_(Somewhere I belong)_

Tyki Mikk: the Vagabond, the human, the Noah of Pleasure, the assassin, the Marquis, a man- a _creature_ made of black and white. As such a creature he'd never exactly felt he had a place to belong. He'd always made due in his position as the 3rd, more because he'd had no choice but to do so or he'd be killed by the Earl. It wasn't that he didn't have a place to fit it in, but rather that he wasn't sure he wanted to. He relished the destruction of the world while simultaneously treasuring his vagabond friends. He'd wanted to destroy Allen Walker and his Innocence and at the same time admired him, wanted to study him, wanted to keep him and learn every little thing there was to know about the teen.

That is why he'd defected to the middle ground. Because in the middle ground he could be what he wanted. He could mold a place to fit into, rather than molding himself to fit in. He didn't have to be wishy-washy with borderline personality disorder.

It was for very similar reasons, he discovered, that most everyone else inhabiting the Ark had defected to follow Allen Walker. The white-haired boy hadn't asked anyone for anything. He hadn't asked them to change, or improve, or fight, or choose sides, or even to decide where either side of the war began and ended. Allen Walker had single-handedly given the biggest misfits in the world somewhere to belong. And Tyki Mikk knew that this was one of the greatest reasons that he'd fallen for the teen. He'd never really thought of himself as gay, or even bisexual, but this was _the_ Allen Walker, so exceptions could be made. Exceptions were expected when it came to the cursed teen.

Mikk had been lucky, he supposed. Allen seemed to reciprocate his feelings (Lavi and Lenalee had even confirmed it for him!). So why was it that he had been spending the last couple of weeks alone, or searching for his love, or actively being avoided by said love? He had no idea.

Tyki Mikk could not, for the _life_ of him, understand Allen Walker. Allen had to be the most _frustrating_ creature there ever was. All Tyki ever did was shower the younger male with gifts and attention. Road did the same bloody thing! But she was never told to stop or leave (Except that one time last month when she'd surprise-kissed him, _again_). He was, understandably, jealous.

It just wasn't fair. Okay, so he'd nearly killed the white-haired boy once… or twice (the 2nd time was an _accident_!) But so had the twins, Road, and even Kanda and Lavi (the last not intentionally). And Road had even gouged out his eye. Yet they were never treated like he was. Like a leper, or a poisonous apple, or… _something_- basically, like something that Allen _really_ didn't want around. But how could that be- after all the presents and affection? Besides that, he was ridiculously good-looking and charming (the number of his own suitors was proof enough of that). Tyki could only conclude that there was something decidedly _off_ about the boy.

Tyki had thought it was a brilliant idea, the perfect present: buttons. The first button he brought his dearest Allen was one of Leverrier's. And for this the white-haired boy had given him the first real smile anyone had seen on the cursed teen in quite a while. A Smile! Surely this was a good sign. This was a rather twisted way to court someone, but then, all the Noah were tragically twisted-the 14th being no exception.

The Noah of Pleasure spent the next several months tracking down all the Third Exorcists and their creators and eliminating them. Allen received over a dozen more buttons after Leverrier's. Everything had been going well. Until about the 7th button, Tyki guessed. It was then that Allen began to distance himself from his most avid suitor. The Portuguese Noah was actually rather hurt. What had he done?

**Allen Walker**

_I want to let go of the pain I've felt so long_

_(Erase all the pain 'til it's gone)_

Allen Walker could not _believe_ what he'd gotten himself into. At first he hadn't thought much about the actions of the Pleasure. Perhaps he just wanted to make him feel welcome, or help put his past attempts on his life behind them? Maybe? Whatever the man's intentions, he hadn't thought on it much.

It was buttons. The buttons made him actually stop and question Tyki's odd behavior. Allen had felt unexpectedly thrilled at receiving the evil Leverrier's button. He'd smiled at Tyki. A few buttons later he had to keep himself from glomping the taller man. The Pleasure had told him proudly, exhaustedly that he was taking care to kill _only_ the Third Exorcist's and those responsible for his biased trial. The very same people who also _just_ _happened_ to be responsible for the Third Exorcist project. And they called _him_ a heretic? The Pleasure promised him that he was not creating any collateral damage. That in and of itself made Allen pause in his jubilation. Tyki, _not_ wreaking havoc? Not simply doing as he pleased, killing who he pleased, and operating under his 'to hell with everyone one else' attitude?

The cursed teen had to wonder what was really going on. Hadn't he made it clear that a relationship in the middle of a war was impractical? Had the Noah not understood when he'd told him that, not only did he not want anyone specifically targeted because of their connection to him, but that he didn't want to- _couldn't_ handle the loss of someone as close to him as Tyki wanted to be?

At first, Allen had been pleased- _grateful_ even, for Tyki's care with each button. After all, association didn't _always_ equate to guilt. Soon, though, Allen began to understand Tyki's intentions, the true reason behind his care with each button. And it rather frightened the youngest Noah. It frightened him because he'd never been in this sort of position before. Because Tyki was in no way content with them being _just friends_, as he'd hoped the older man would be (he'd known, when it came to Mikk that this hope was fragile at best, but couldn't help but try). Because all he _knew_ was _battle_ and because he wasn't even out of his bloody _teens_. Because Tyki was _male_ and, though he didn't actually have a problem with homosexuality, he was pretty sure he'd only heard of such a relationship when he was in questionable locations with _Master_, and anything relating to Cross Marian was generally frightening and traumatizing… And because a few buttons after Epstein's, he was beginning to reciprocate Tyki's feelings.

Being young and rather naïve as he was, having no idea what to do now, Allen went into 'flight or fight' mode. Having lived most of his life on the battlefield Allen Walker would usually choose 'fight.' This was the first time in years that Allen had felt such a weakness coming on. But this wasn't battle. This wasn't something he could just fight his way out of. Allen Walker panicked.

**Tyki Mikk**

_I want to find something I've wanted all along_

This wasn't what he'd planned when he decided to pursue the amazing Allen Walker. Not at all. Granted, he'd expected… _glitches_. Of course he had. Sheryl (and most everyone else) had out right laughed at him when it was discovered that Tyki planned to court the angelic, pure, Exorcist Allen Walker. Tyki could deal with the laughter and the teasing. The white-haired boy completely avoiding him or flat out refusing to see him was definitely _not_ part of his plan and he certainly didn't want to just _deal_ with it. He would see his Allen no matter what it took. He would have Allen Walker for his own if it was the _last_ thing he did.

After a great deal of effort he'd finally managed to corner the teen. The outright fear he could see in his petite love was certainly apparent. Right away he knew what was wrong and he couldn't believe how selfish he was being… wait, yes, he could. He was always selfish. Every aspect of his life, of himself, was spent doing as he pleased as often as he could. Generally, Allen was the one that was selfless and Tyki selfish; however, it seemed that, for once, the boy wanted to be the selfish one- protected and safe. This would never do. Tyki Mikk was the Noah of Pleasure and he would not let his and Allen's personalities reverse now. Never before, in any aspect of his life, had he _ever_ wanted anything or anyone as much as he wanted the snowy-haired teen who was currently practically cowering before him. He wouldn't- couldn't ever let this boy get away.

He'd asked if the pain of losing Mana ever made him regret meeting the travelling clown.

Wide, silver eyes blinked for a moment in confusion, then focused in thought. Of course, the Portuguese man was not known for his patience and he'd been waiting for Allen for quite a while (according to his warped standards). Thus, he did not wait for a response to his question before, more or less, attacking the shorter male and kissing him breathless. When his reluctant, little love swooned in his arms, he knew he'd won. Allen didn't seem to mind being defeated so completely and easily.

**Allen Walker**

_**Somewhere I Belong**_

He didn't regret meeting Mana, despite the pain of losing him, of the curse he'd consequently received, or even after finding out that he'd been saddled with an unwanted Noah in his body. He wouldn't trade the few short years with his adoptive father for anything. Looking at his relationship with the older man in the same light, he knew that whether he had Tyki for a few months or a few decades, it would be worth it in the end. He came to realize that the pain of denying himself and never having his love would be worse than that of eventually losing him. 'It is better to have loved and lost,' as the saying goes, he thought.

It couldn't be helped anyway, he guessed. Tyki would never give up on him and he simply wasn't strong enough to resist indefinitely. He hadn't ever really wanted to resist in the first place. Besides, the Pleasure was strong and would not be killed off easily. In the end he decided that he'd rather have someone at his side when the end came, no matter what end the war brought to them, rather than be alone.

Tyki made him feel loved, made him feel needed- beyond what use he could be to the war. Tyki made him feel he had somewhere he belonged, like there was a heart in which he belonged. Unlike any others the older male had made space for Allen Walker the Savior, the Noah, the Exorcist, the Clown, and the Destroyer of Time. There was nothing of himself that had to be sacrificed, or changed, or improved. The Noah let him keep everything of himself, and took everything of himself without prejudice or exception.

In the end, he supposed that was all that was truly important. Yes, he was keeping his promise to Mana to keep walking forward, but, more importantly, he was keeping his promises to himself. And Allen had finally come to understand that that was more important than any vow made to one who'd died nigh on a decade past.

Tyki had a beating heart that pumped blood through rushing veins, a set of lungs (likely a bit grey from his smoking) that still drew air in and out, and warm skin that contained living, moving muscle, tendon and, bone. The dark-haired Noah was _alive_ and more real to him than anything he remembered of Mana and… after a while he found that he was alright with that. Tyki Mikk _loved_ him and Allen Walker would hold onto these things as long as he possibly could, as long as they _existed_. He couldn't live his life for everyone else. He couldn't live his life solely for his cause. He certainly couldn't live his life for those passed. One can only be so beholden to the dead and gone, after all.

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Thank you to everyone who read this chapter. I think I hate it. It was really, truly forced. I'm so happy it's done! Please tell me what you think of this chapter and the whole of the fic in general. I so appreciate your input. Thank's againto all of you have reviewed in the past!


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